Dear miscellaneous morons of another world,

It is I, Ulesorin the Green. Wizard extraordinaire, romancer of dragons, aunt of agonies. I am returned to you this day with disturbing and tragic news.

Despite all of my best efforts over the past century or so to dissuade such notions, the wards placed around my towers, the various monsters employed to keep visitors away, I have nonetheless found myself in receipt of the most loathsome of invitations. It would seem that I must depart upon an adventure for the foreseeable future.

This sabbatical shall last precisely as long as I intend for it to, and not a moment longer or shorter. A wizard always arrives exactly on time, and remains gone for exactly the correct span of time also. As such, I must warn you that when you consign your missives to your electronic mail and it is delivered through The Storm Between Worlds in the form of lightning, I am unlikely to receive them with any promptness for the foreseeable future.

I am of course inclined to blame myself for this sorry state of affairs, given that I am such a generous and heroic soul, but of course the truth – which I shall never deny you – is somewhat more pedestrian. Tis’ not because of the wizard’s wiles failing him that I must take this sabbatical, but because you useless lot have sent me no letters to reply to of late.

With no such letters to occupy me, I have been venturing from my tower with some frequency in search of other pathetic beings to laugh at… to assist with my incredible wisdom. And from there it was a slippery slope to a certain royal brat spotting me, recalling me from various myths and legends of the land and press-ganging me into joining his quest to rid the world of an evil marsupial of some sort. I wasn’t really paying all that much attention at the time, most of my illustrious mind was in search of an excuse to turn him down. Perhaps a very large wombat? Who can say.

Please continue to write your letters, pleading and begging for my aid. They shall not fall on deaf ears. I have instructed the imps in my tower to file them according to urgency, and I shall look upon them upon my return.

Until then, I bid you farewell. 

For now.

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