Welcome to THE MONSTER BOTHERER!

We are thrilled to welcome back Emma Penman, who exclusively reviews monster romance, and has returned for another week of Monster Bothering. We decided that as all her reviews have a specific aim, we’ll house them all in one handy feature-cage!

Whilst not necessarily bothering many monsters herself, Emma will be letting us know which monster romance books are worth bothering with…

Content warning: These books are usually explicit unless stated otherwise

Meet cutes are usually quite wholesome, you know, grabbing the wrong takeout coffee when you’re in a rush to get to work, tripping over your own feet and landing in the middle of his puppy play date picnic. Not him performing a citizens arrest on your ex and then being dragged away in chains while he yells that you’re his bride and he will impregnate you with many sons, but here we are, and this isn’t a complaint, far from it.

It’s an interesting premise, the male (orc) love interest is basically imprisoned for the majority of the book due to the Orcish “dark of winter” condition that leaves him likely to abduct and ravish his mate rather than behave a bit more respectfully. I wouldn’t mind but I guess to integrate with humans successfully you gotta act a bit more human, especially when it comes to courting rituals. Without the ability to even be in the same room together, our mates have to find a way to communicate, to get to know each other, and end up sending secret letters to each other via Garlen’s (our orc) corgi.

Protective males are a staple in orc romances, so to see Garlen’s ability to look after his mate and her family, especially when they are in danger, stripped away is interesting. I’m not going to say it’s fun, you can almost feel his pain when he can’t physically help Ellie, and has to send his cousins to help instead. This is mirrored with Ellie’s feeling of helplessness when her abusive ex finds her again, it seems that no matter what she does she can’t get away from him and can’t protect her daughter from him either. Both our main characters are trapped, one due to nature, one nurture.

It’s a slow burn, but it’s not. Obviously Garlen is rabid for her the moment he sets eyes on her, but Ellie isn’t far behind. She’s intrigued and a little turned on by this hulking guy screaming that she’s his and I don’t blame her one bit. I’m a simple creature, but it’s romance and passion without presence. Not even a slip of the ankle to tantalise her courter is possible, but they have the letters and by golly, I was over the moon, there’s healthy communication, honest expectations and intentions, I nearly swooned. Mr and Miss “fall first, ask questions later” have got it sorted.

Obviously, for y’know feral kidnapping orc reasons, spice doesn’t happen for a while, but there is plenty of teasing and play, especially when Garlan gets a bit more freedom, but it did feel a bit rushed, very squeezed in. It’s not set your heart afire, fluttering butterflies sexy times, and I felt more heat radiated from the letters than the bedroom scenes. Foreplay in chains was kind of hot though, again playing with the usual dominant orc traits in a very fun way.

One criticism I have of Orcs Do It Better is how repetitive it was. We are told information over and over again, despite it not being particularly pertinent to the story, Vital information has been shoved out of my brain to make way for parts of this book, possibly because the amount of times I read the same thing tricked me into believing it was important. I can no longer remember my 7 times table and I will mourn that loss, and while I am empathetic and feel for Ellie, her monologue near the end of the book regarding her feelings of unworthiness and love for Garlan made my eyes roll so hard they nearly fell out. It was just a bit overkill. If it had been trimmed and tidied up it would have been so much more realistic. I kept imagining Garlan’s knees buckling having to stand for so long while she warbled on. It just wasn’t realistic and not very well written.

Would I bother? Despite my irritation at the amount of repetition and the lack of spice, it was a really enjoyable story. Tropes were played with, the characters were so much fun and the setting was interesting. The second book comes out in December and I’m already craving it. It’s an older romance, no nubile, lithe maidens here, and Ellie is a curvy girl so it’s ticking a lot of boxes for me. It was well thought out and just really satisfying to read. I would bother.