Welcome to THE MONSTER BOTHERER!

That’s right, Emma Penman is back for another year of reviewing monster romance – or Monster Botherer. We decided that as all her reviews have a specific aim, we’ll house them all in one handy feature-cage!

Whilst not necessarily bothering many monsters herself, Emma will be letting us know which monster romance books are worth bothering with…

Content warning: These books are usually explicit unless stated otherwise

It is a common misconception that smut has to be crude, lewd and depraved. A lowest common denominator kind of read that holds no intellectual worth, that contributes nothing more than a cheap thrill. It’s not art, it’s not beautiful and it won’t hold you in its grasp past the fleeting moments of lust. Books like Untethering Dark by Desirée M. Niccoli throw that idea right out the window with a look of “don’t darken my doorstep again”.

We delve into Germany’s Black Forest (der Schwarzwald) and meet Astrid, a witch who is well on her way to attaining haghood. She lives by the forest’s rules and never forgets to leave out an offering for the creature that hunts every night. When some disrespectful tourists upset the offering, Astrid offers what’s left, delicious baked goods, and lo’ a relationship with the fearsome forest god is formed. Apparently you can fascinate an animal skull-faced, fanged and rather hirsute guy with some cookies, good to know.

What follows is a deeply intimate tale of protecting nature, actions speaking louder than words, living up to the role you have accepted in life and falling in love. While other stories place the importance of the relationship above all else, this one doesn’t. There is a greater good that is prioritised and focused on. You will not find protagonists that will burn the world down if it means saving their beloved here, instead, a couple that will fight to the death to protect the world, even if that means loss and heartbreak, and that’s pretty sexy of them.

The spice is all I hoped it would be, antler grabbing, a little bit of kink, weird cum and well written. Like our couple there’s no prudishness or shyness when it comes to the art of getting down and dirty, only the hurdle of figuring out if the other wants it or not, but blessedly, communication isn’t an issue between Astrid and Gudariks. Niccoli spares us the cringe (I don’t enjoy second hand embarrassment when reading my smut and shall be organising a petition to include it in trigger warning lists) and rightfully assumes that her reader actually knows what sex is, and doesn’t feel the need to give us the basic birds and bees description that some other monster romance authors feel we need. Great, I now have the song “Dem Bones” taking up space in my head, except I’m replacing the bones with genitals. Anyway, we’re thrown into the deep end, get absolutely soaking wet and I’m here for it. It’s nice to be treated like an adult.

Niccoli freely admits that while she has German ancestry on her mothers side, she used writing this book as a way to really connect to it, to learn more and that’s kind of beautiful. Growing up, I, as I would imagine a lot of you, learned about magic and monsters from reading old myths and legends. Learning, and creating new folk tales as you go is kind of brilliant, and while the book is fairly new, it doesn’t feel that way. It feels like one of the old tales, like Grimm or even older. It feels like it has always been there, like I’m rereading one of the dusty old paperbacks I picked up from a charity shop. In this, the author has done a fantastic job.

Untethering Dark has already become one of my favourite books this year, I was just so bloody delighted with it. Astrid is a strong female character that doesn’t need to remind everyone that she’s a strong female character. She knows what she wants from life and there’s no messing about with that. She doesn’t sacrifice anything about herself to be with Gudariks, they take each other as they are, and what they will be. Gudariks is perhaps a more sympathetic character than I usually prefer, but his sense of morality, loyalty and charm won me over well before the blood red, sap like cum. Look, I’m only human. Give a girl a break. The plot had me hooked, and also made me want to learn more about the Black Forest, maybe even visit, though don’t worry, I won’t go after dark, at least not without a suitable offering. Maybe some Springerle just in case Gudariks has a visiting cousin or something. All in all it was just a joy to read, and would highly recommend you bother with it.